Unfortunately, this will be my last story for our Sweet Pea.
On Monday, I had my doctor's appointment. While it should have been my nearly 9 week appointment, filled with the fun of seeing the heartbeat, the unpleasantness of a pelvic exam and the excitement of making the pregnancy game plan, it took on a new twist after Friday night.
My appointment consisted of ensuring that I had passed all of the pregnancy tissue, which it looks like I have. It involved having my ovaries, uterus and cervix checked. Everything looks healthy, although I do have a very normal cyst on my left ovary. I received my very painful rhogam shot.
Because I passed the baby while clothed and standing, we were able to submit it for a pathology report to try and find the cause of death and miscarriage. Based on appearance, there doesn't seem to be much doubt that Sweet Pea had enough chromosome abnormalities to not be campatable with life. It was a surprise that I did not carry before I even realized I was pregnant.
Thank you again to everyone for all of your support, kindness, excitement for the pregnancy, and compassion in the loss. We are truly blessed.
Comments I am truly sorry that you have had to go through this. I'm sorry for little sweet pea too. At least you were able to get some answers though. That is a positive in all of this. - -Marilyn
Last night Baby Sweet Pea joined Matthew in heaven. We're sure sweet pea is bringing Matthew much joy and comfort. Our hearts ache to hold the baby we never met.
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.
"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
when your baby's not with you?"
"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."
"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.
"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say..."
We go to earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear,
My mummy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mum,
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My mummy set me free.
I miss my mummy oh so much
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillows were I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear
Mummy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here."
"So you see my dear sweet ones,
Your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home
And this is where they'll stay."
"They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lessons through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize
You are a mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one.
Comments I am soo sorry for your loss...I know how hard miscarriage can be, and this poem is so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes! - Nicole Brandusa
Congratulations! You are now in week #8 of your pregnancy! So much is happening. Here is a summary of what you should expect this week:
Mother:
* Your uterus is now about the size of a grapefruit. Before you were pregnant it was about the size of your fist.
* Your breasts are larger now, and probably still sore.
* Your nipples may be darker and the little bumps around the edge of the areola more pronounced.
* You have probably noticed that you need to urinate more frequently now as the growing uterus puts pressure on your bladder.
* You may be suffering a bit from heartburn. Hopefully it will pass, though it may get worse at the end of your pregnancy.
* Keeping your pelvic muscles in good order will make your birth easier and have big pay-offs as you grow older. Read this article to learn how to go about care for this vulnerable part of your body.
Baby:
* Your baby is now about 10,000 times bigger that it was at conception but is still only about an inch long.
* This week the baby's gonads will either become testes or ovaries.
* The eyes are formed and covered by a fold of skin, though the eyelid will not open yet.
* The arms and legs are growing longer and the arms are bent at the elbow, allowing the baby to hug herself.
* The tip of the nose is now visible and teeth are forming under the baby's gums.
* Your little one is beginning to move around now and kick his legs, but he is still way too small for you to feel it.
I know I'm normally terrible at keeping secrets. This was a different case. It took a little while to get to a point where the pregnancy not only felt real, but also feel comfortable enough with it ourselves to not only talk about it with others but to also feel comfortable going over our plan of medical treatment.
There are a gazillion emotions that we are both feeling. And to be honest, the feelings can be overwhelming. It's nice to have distractions from the worry, the fear and the nervousness. Keeping it a secret has made it easier to have more moments of distraction.
It is absolutely nothing personal against anyone that we waited so long. We are elated to share the news with all of our loved ones, we just wanted to make sure it was the right time and we were both ready.
Comments There is nothing wrong with waiting, most people don't say anything until they're out of the first trimester!! -
Well, yesterday we had a bit of a scare that wound up with me going to the emergency room. I had some spotting that turned into bleeding so I headed to the ER for piece of mind. They weren't able to give it to me, but luckily, I got it from Dr. Zielinsky today :)
I should expect to bleed for the next several days and am on pelvic bedrest, and restricted activity. No heavy lifting, resting with my feet up as much as possible. I go back on the 23rd and will have another u/s. But, I shouldn't expect anything out of the ordinary. The baby is measuring on track with a fetal pole of 9mm (right in the middle) and a beta reading of 7000.
How Big is the Baby at Seven Weeks Pregnant?
During pregnancy week 7 your baby will grow tremendously, up to 13 mm in length! Your baby is much closer to the size of a large blueberry or small grape by 7 weeks pregnant than a pea.
Your Baby's Growth and Development
At 7 weeks pregnant facial features become more prominent in your newborn. Upon close investigation you may be able to discern a mouth and even a tongue (you actually can't see the tongue, but it is forming inside your baby!). During pregnancy week 7 your baby's eyes will also start to become more fully formed, and now have a retina and lens attached. The major muscle systems in the body also continue to develop during pregnancy week 7, and your baby begins to produce his own blood type. Your baby's movements will be uncoordinated at best at this point during pregnancy, but rest assured your little one is squirming about his new home.
If you were to look directly at your baby you would still be able to see slight webbing in the fingers and toes during pregnancy 7 weeks. Teeth are also starting to form on the inside of your baby's mouth, and thin veins start to peer out from beneath your baby's skin. Your baby's intestines and appendix should be formed by now. By this time your baby's liver is working diligently to start producing red blood cells. Your baby should be bouncing right along in his comfy and warm home!
Your Growth and Development
You still aren't showing much if at all by 7 weeks pregnant, though you might start noticing a small pooch look to your lower abdomen. You may find that your favorite pair of jeans is much less comfortable during pregnancy at 7 weeks than your worn pair of baggy sweatpants. You might start thinking about maternity clothes. Still, by and large most people will not be able to detect your pregnancy yet as you won't start really showing until many weeks in the future.
Though it may seem like an eternity waiting for changes to come, know that they will come with time! Before you know it your belly will be as big as a watermelon, so enjoy the last few weeks that you can still see your toes! They won't last very long.
Undoubtedly you have started feeling more and more pregnant by pregnancy at 7 weeks. You are probably still experiencing morning sickness. If you are prone to migraine headaches, you may find they are worse or better during pregnancy. While some women experience an almost complete relief of their migraine symptoms during pregnancy, others find that migraines come on with greater regularity.
Fortunately this will probably change as you follow your pregnancy week by week. Some women actually experience their first migraine during pregnancy. Migraines are generally caused by blood vessels that dilate in the brain. A migraine headache may start out like an ordinary headache, with dull pain or throbbing, but typically progresses and gets worse as time goes on. A constant pulsating sensation on one or both sides of the head is often a symptom of a migraine. Unfortunately a migraine is no ordinary headache. They are often accompanied by nausea and vomiting. Some people experience what is called an aura during a migraine. This is wavy lines, or flashing lights before their eyes.
Migraines are usually not dangerous during pregnancy. If however your migraine is accompanied by other symptoms including fever or blurred vision, you should report your symptoms to your healthcare provider immediately! Know that there are certain triggers that may impact your susceptibility to migraines. These include the following:
While you can't control the hormonal changes that are occurring in your body, you can do some natural things to help relieve your discomfort. Some women find that a cold towel or frozen bag of peas on the head helps relieve the aching associated with a migraine. Others simply prefer lying down. Meditation and yoga may actually prove beneficial during pregnancy. While it is generally considered acceptable to take Tylenol during pregnancy to help relieve pain, other forms of pain relief including ibuprofen and aspirin should be avoided.
If your headaches are truly severe be sure to report them to your healthcare provider. There are some prescriptions that might be taken if the condition warrants it, and if the benefits of taking the medicine outweigh the risks associated with them. Know that this too in time shall pass, and when you are holding your bundle of joy in your arms any discomfort that you felt in the early months will be quickly forgotten.
Today was my first Doctor's Appointment. Well, to be more accurate, it was with the prenatal nurse :)
My appointment went pretty good. It was with the same nurse I've always had, so I didn't have to go through a lot of the history, which was nice. She was really sympathetic, filled with hugs and kind words, and made it easier.
She told me that the supplements are great and to continue with them for as long as I can (It's over 14 pills a day now and some are large, so I don't think she thinks I can do it hee hee).
I've "officially" gained 7.8 pounds, my goal is 25-50 or "however much I want to", so no worries.
I have to do a diabetes test this week :( Just because I was so close before and got closer with Matthew's pregnancy.
We also talked VBAC, and that's probably not going to happen. She said with my history (in addition to everything else, I had partial placental abruption) and with Dr. Zielinsky typically going on the side of medical caution, that he won't be comfortable with it. While I really want a VBAC, I don't want to do anything to put the baby at risk, and I trust him. So, I will probably have a cesarean between Sept 16-18, if I make it that long.
Good news is that I will probably know the sex in 6 more weeks. I'll get my referral for the Sacramento Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors at my appointment and they will do a level 2 u/s so if baby is cooperating, we should know the sex :)
And because Dr. Zielinsky is so medically conservative, she does think that he will gladly "obey my demands" of bi-weekly ultra sounds to check cervical length as well as progesterone shots weekly. He should call me this week. :) So, lots of information.
Comments Btw, I just noticed this and thought I would share, Dr. Z doesn't do VBACs for anyone, ever. I don't think any of the doc in that office do. Thats why I'll be glad to return to him next time. :) - Marilyn
It takes a lot of developing to become a baby - all the major (and minor) bodily systems (digestive, circulatory, nervous, and so on) and organs (heart, lungs, stomach...you get the idea) have to form from scratch. One of the first systems to be operational is the circulatory (or blood) system - along with its companion organ: the heart. Right now, your baby's heart is made up of two tiny channels called heart tubes - and they're already hard at work, beating to their own drummer (it will be weeks before those beats become coordinated). When those tubes fuse together, your baby will have a fully functioning heart (though it almost certainly already has its grip on yours). Also in the works this week are several other organs, including the neural tube (the precursor to your baby's brain and spinal cord), which hasn't yet sealed, but by next week, that open-door policy is over.
So what does your little embryo - already the size of an orange seed (how fast they grow!) - look like now? Actually, not unlike a tadpole, with a rudimentary head and a tail. But don't worry - there's no frog in your future. In fact, you're fewer than eight months away from holding a real prince (or princess) in your arms.
Your baby has found its home - your uterus. Once there, it burrows into your uterine lining and implants - making that unbreakable connection to you that'll last the next eight months (and a lifetime after that). Once firmly in place, the ball of cells undergoes the great divide - splitting into two groups. Half (now called the embryo) will become your son or daughter while the other half becomes the placenta - the lifeline that channels nutrients to your baby and carries waste away.
Despite its extremely tiny size - no longer than one millimeter and no bigger than a poppy seed (think about that as you eat your morning bagel) - your little embryo is busy setting up house. The amniotic sac that boards your baby (also called the bag of waters) is forming, as is the yolk sac (don't worry, you're not having a chicken), which will later be incorporated into your baby's developing digestive tract.
The embryo now has three distinct layers of cells that will grow into specialized parts of your baby's body. The inner layer, known as the endoderm, will develop into your baby's digestive system (with help from that yolk sac), liver, and lungs. The middle layer, called the mesoderm, will soon be your baby's heart, sex organs, bones, kidneys, and muscles. The outer layer, or ectoderm, will eventually form your baby's organs and tissues, including the nervous system, hair, skin, and eyes.
Last Friday, I was really sick. I was up all night throwing up and everything else. Nana had to come and get Kaitlyn. I had a terrible migraine, couldn't keep anything down and was just miserable.
On Saturday, I was still a little sick to my stomach, but mostly just really weak. On Sunday it was more of the same. We went to the bridal expo for my Auntie Sammie. And the sickness feeling turned into more of a familiar sick feeling.
I've been sick like this only twice before. Once, it turned out I was pregnant with a little girl named Kaitlyn and the next time I was pregnant with a little boy named Matthew.
So, I began to worry a bit. It was too early in my cycle to have missed a period, and much too early to take a pregnancy test, but the sickness continued.
On Friday, I took a pregnancy test. And then another and yet another. All different brands. They all read the same thing, "Pregnant."
There have been a whole lot of emotions we've felt. To say that I'm absolutely terrified would be an understatement. While this isn't something that we planned for, it turns out God has other plans for us.
So, I've spent the last couple days coming up with a plan for care.
There are typically 3 causes for pPROM. 1 is irritable uterus and cervix, the contracts start early in labor and cause the amniotic sac to break. 2 is an infection. An infection sits in and convinces your body that the baby is better in than out. The third is a fluke. If it truly is a fluke, it is incredibly rare for it to repeat itself.
I strongly believe that our pPROM was caused by issue 1. When I look at all of my pregnancy notes, I started having contractions at 12 weeks. They were not braxton hicks. While they didn't hurt, they lasted over a minute and would stop me in my tracks.
So, this is my plan. I am going to ask for progesterone shots starting at 16 weeks. It is the earliest they will do them, and studies have shown that they can prevent contractions and preterm labor. I will be resting more than I did in previous pregnancies. I will not be doing any lifting over 10 pounds. My exercise will be limited to the treadmill, slowly.
Just in case the cause was reason 2, I am going to start taking probiotics, increase my water intake drastically and drink a lot of cranberry juice.
There are also studies that show that electromagnetic waves can cause pPROM in a pregnancy. So, I will be avoiding the microwave, only using my laptop with the fan and not carrying my cell phone in my pocket, even though it might sound silly.
There are many things that are terrifying. Our due date is September 30, 2009, exactly 2 years and 1 week after Matthew's. So, there will be some days that we hope to get through. June 2: The day my water broke, August 6: The day Matthew was born 7 weeks early, September 1: The day Matthew came home 22 days before he should have been born.
Matthew is missed so much and it is so hard to welcome another member into our family without him here. Be sure to keep positive thoughts.
Comments Well, if your taking votes, I vote for fluke. There is nothing silly about you taking extra precautions, its understandable and I would too if I was in your shoes. We will be cheering you on and sending well wishes every step of the way!! (I didn't know you had an auntie sammie) :P - Marilyn
Contact This Site's Owner
