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Stories
April 24, 2006: Wow, I can't believe it's been over 2 months since we lost Riley. There's not a day go by that I don't think of him and wonder how it would have been. I know God knows best...and one example is...
We're moving back to Columbus! God truly uses bad for good. Had we not lost Riley, Jason would not have emailed the director of the Bartholomew County Public Libraray. If he hadn't emailed her, he couldn't have met with her and been offered a job. God used our devestating situation to send us home. Jason was offered a Reference Librarian position at the libraray in Columbus and will be starting there June 5th. We're in a rush now to get the house sold. I'm meeting with a realtor today to get things moving. Hopefully it won't take too long. Please keep us in your prayers.
Also, Jason has been named Indiana's 2006 Most Outstanding New Librarian. He was honored at a banquet during the Indiana Library Federation conference in Indianapolis earlier this month. What an honor!
Again, we thank everyone for your continued prayers. I know God is answering them. We are healing. Slowly, but everyday is easier. We'll never forget our first child, but we have hope for the future.
March 6, 2006: Today I went back to the doctor for a post-delivery check-up. She had all the results from the testing the did on me, the baby and the placenta.
The first big thing we found out is that Riley is a BOY! We've been thinking it was a girl so we have to change our thinking. We're so glad that we are now able to know for sure.
All the testing was normal, except for a couple of things...
--Protein S: My protein S test came back abnormal. It is commonly abnormal during pregnancy, so I will be re-tested 6 weeks post-delivery. If it is found to be abnormal, it could have been a cause for the miscarriages. There is an 80% chance that this can be fixed by taking baby aspirin daily for blood thinning. She will have me see a specialist if this test comes back abnormal again.
--Folic Acid: One of my folic acid levels (some big name I don't remember) was low. This could also have been a cause. She said that by upping my folic acid intake from the 1 gram that's in my prenatal vitamin to 4 grams should be helpful. When we decide to start trying again, she will prescribe the extra dosage.
--Possible abnormalities of the uterus: She was a little concerned about a small cyst she found durning my exam. She said that since there is that one small abnormality, there may be others we can't see. She wants me to have a Hysterosalpingogram (an x-ray of the womb). They'll shoot dye into my uterus to take pictures of everything up there. It can cause cramping and nausea, but if it provides answers, it's worth it in the long run. I'll have that done after I'm done bleeding.
So, we have the hope of some answers from this testing and the hope of having future healthy pregnancies. The doctor is very positive that we will be able to be fine in the future and encourages us to try again when we're ready. We have decided to take the this time to get more healthy...changing our diet and exercising...before attempting to get pregnant again. We also need some time to heal from the emotional pain. We know that God will get us through this and let us know when the time is right to try again.
Again, thank you so much for the cards, the flowers, the thoughts, the support and the prayers. We truly appreciate how much you all care.
February 18, 2005: After confirming the baby's death by ultrasound again on Tuesday morning, my doctor wanted to induce labor that day. We started the medication about 10:45 am Tuesday morning. I had 2 doses of medication, but with no real progress. I suffered terrible side effects from the meds...chills, fever, vomiting and (the worst) diarrhea. The doctor finally decided to send me home and try again on Thursday.
Thursday morning we arrived at the hospital at 5 am to begin the process again. This time they used a different medication, with none of the side effects. After 2 doses and no changes, they upped the dose by 8 times. Finally, after the mega-dose I began to feel some cramping. By the second mega-dose, I was having contractions and was starting to dilate. With the help of some IV pain medication, I made it through a rough 14 hours of pretty painful contractions to finally have the baby at 12:41 Friday afternoon. Once my water broke it was over fairly quickly and painlessly. I was able to get through the entire process not having to have an epidural or a D&C...praise God.
We were able to hold the baby. At this age (about 17 or 18 weeks), they were unable to tell us for sure the sex (though one nurse said she would have guessed a girl), so we chose a name that could be used for either....Riley. Riley has perfect little ears, 10 toes, 10 fingers with little fingernail beds. So perfectly formed...beautiful. The hospital chaplain came and prayed for us and offered a blessing upon Riley. The doctor and nurses did a wonderful job making this special for us. We were given as much time with Riley as we needed...my parents and sister were there, as were Jason's parents. Everyone had a chance to spend time with Riley and say goodbye.
We were also given a memory box containing a poem with Riley's footprints, the prayer the pastor said (signed by all present), a memory book, Riley's measurements, the wristbands Jason, Riley and I would have worn had this been a live birth, the cord clamp, the blanket Riley was wrapped in during pictures and a small teddy bear. We will also be given a birth certificate and pictures when the nurse comes for a home visit. We were given such wonderful care, special moments and beautiful memories. God certainly put the right people in our path for this difficult time.
God has also given me an amazing amount of strength through this whole thing. I have so many questions...particularly
why? but I know He is in control. He has truly given me strength and peace...and I know He will continue to do so as we grieve.
Thank you for your prayers, your thoughts and your support as we have gone through this devastating experience. We truly appreciate all the family and friends (and even people we don't know) offering help and prayers. We'll continue to struggle, I'm sure, but with God and all of you we'll make it through.
Please continue to keep in contact with us through email (
hjhatton@verizon.net) as I doubt I'll update this anymore. Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We are truly blessed by you, and the opportunity to have Riley even for such a short time.
February 13, 2006: Today was our scheduled ultrasound to determine the baby's sex. Our joy quickly turned to heartache as we were informed that a heartbeat could not be found. We're stunned and devestated by this news and searching for God's will in this situation.
We go to the doctor in the morning to determine the next step.
We appreciate your prayers and thoughts during this time.
February 7, 2006: (18 weeks) Well, I have been enjoying the baby move around. It's progressed from flutters to rolling motions. It's very exciting! I got through my Spina Bifida blood work like a pro. I won't find out the results of the test for awhile probably because it's not a test they do at the lab...they have to send it somewhere special.
Everything else is going well. I'm still keeping an eye on my blood pressure. I'm enjoying just having one little girl to watch everyday. We have a lot of fun...much better than the bank. :-)
January 24, 2006 (week 16): Well, I'm feeling pretty good. Still enjoying taking naps, but otherwise, feeling good. I'm still waiting to feel the baby move. I've thought I've felt some little flutters, but I could be confusing that for gas. :-) Hopefully soon I'll feel something definate. My information tells me that the baby is about the size of an avacado now. Also, this week the baby should double its weight and grow several inches. It's amazing to track the developement.
The hospital called today to make my appointments for my 17 week Spina Bifada blood test and my 19 week detailed ultrasound. I'll go in February 1st for my blood work and February 13th for my ultrasound. Hopefully the baby will be positioned correctly at that point so we can find out if it is a boy or girl! (Don't forget to vote on our main page whether you think its a boy or girl!) How exciting....we can't wait!
January 18, 2006 (week 15): My doctor appointment went well today. My blood pressure is improving, so the medicine must be working. She still wants me to monitor it daily. My EKG and blood work came back normal, so no other problems. That's good. She tried to hear the baby's heartbeat, but couldn't hear it, so she did a quick ultrasound. We saw the baby rolling over and bouncing around. We could clearly see his/her spine and heartbeat. It's amazing. A little life inside my tummy...wow! Everything looks great according to Dr. Stiller. She questioned me on losing weight, concerned that I was throwing up all my food...not a problem anymore! I'm eating better...losing weight, but my belly is expanding. :-)
The hospital should be calling me soon to schedule my 17 week blood work and my 19 week detailed ultrasound (which is when we can find out the sex of the baby!) My next doctor appointment is February 15, 2006.
January 13, 2006 (week 14): Today is the first day of my second trimester! Whew...got over that hurdle. I have to admit that after our first experience, I was nervous up to this point. So, the baby is about 3 inches long (the size of a lemon so I'm told). I'm looking forward to being able to feel the baby move. After seeing him/her wiggling all over in the ultrasound, it's so hard to believe that I can't feel it. Soon, though...probably in a few weeks.
January 12, 2006 (middle of week 13): Dr. Stiller called me yesterday to discuss my blood pressure results. As it's still high, she wants to put me on medication and get some tests done to make sure all is fine. I went to the hospital to have more blood work done and a EKG. I started my medication today too. I have an appointment next week to get the results.
January 3, 2006 (week 12): I had my next appointment with Dr. Stiller. At this point I'm 12 weeks, 4 days along. The baby looked great. The doctor pointed out his/her little hands and feet. We got to see him/her moving all over. Dr. Stiller always gives us a video with each ultrasound so we get to keep these precious moments forever. It was amazing to see this little baby moving all around...and I can't feel it...yet. I'm doing good, but my blood pressure is high. Dr. Stiller wants me to monitor it for a week at home.
December 25, 2005 (week 11): It was time to share the news with Jason's family. Again, we weren't doing gifts, but Jason's parents didn't stick with that. As with my family, I made the bibs for "Grandma," "Grandpa," and "Uncle Brad." They opened them all at the same time and couldn't believe the news. They were thrilled! Jason's mom deemed it the "best Christmas present ever!"
December 24, 2005 (week 11): Finally, it is our Christmas celebration with my family. We didn't exchange gifts this year...just stocking stuffers, but Jason and I had special gifts for all. I had embroidered baby bibs: "I love my Grandma" for my mom, "I love my Grandpa" for my dad and "I love my Aunt" for my sister, Anna. My brother-in-law, Brian, got a picture of the baby from the ultrasound. We gave my grandmother and great-aunt rattles. We asked them all to open the gifts at the same time. It took moment for the meaning to set in, then my mom burst into tears. Everyone was very happy for us and excited. What a Christmas gift!
December 18-23, 2006 (week 10): My mom came to stay with me for the week. Jason had vacation this week and decided to stay in Columbus to visit with his family. I was so afraid that I would spill the beans. My mom and I talked a lot about pregnancy and future babies, but I managed to keep our secret. Whew...
December 13, 2005 (week 9): Dr. Stiller had wanted me to come back for another appointment one week after my 9 week appointment to set my mind at ease. I lost the baby one week after my first appointment during my first pregnancy. Unfortunately, she had to deliver a baby and we had to cancel the appointment. I was feeling totally comfortable and was fine missing the appointment. We had already made it past the time when we lost the baby in July. So far, so good...well, pretty much. My 9th and part of my 10th week were pretty bad nauseous wise. I couldn't eat much of anything during that time. At least it only lasted that long. I was very blessed compared to some.
December 7, 2005: My 9 week appointment went very well. Dr. Stiller says the baby looks great. We saw his/her little heart beating. It's amazing seeing a little peanut that you know is going to be your baby. (View "pictures" to see our baby's first picture.) I was actually 8 weeks and 5 days at my appointment setting a due date for July 10, 2006!
November 19, 2005: Today I flew to Detroit to be in my friend Shelly's wedding. She guessed almost immediately after I turned down a cup of coffee from Starbucks. I swore her to secrecy as my parents were coming to the wedding and we still planned on not telling anyone. It was hard for her...but she did great (and she made a beautiful bride)!
October 31, 2005: I called the doctor to make an appointment. December 7, 2005 was to be my 9 week appointment. We decided not to tell anyone our news. After having a miscarriage in July, we didn't want to tell everyone too soon this time. (Of course, I was way to excited and had to tell someone...of course, my best friend, Michelle was the first to know.)
October 29. 2005: I suspected I was pregnant a week ago. I mentioned my suspicions to Jason and bought a test. While he was at work that morning, I took the test. It was positive! I wanted to tell Jason is a unique way. I had promised to have lunch ready when he came home for his break. I decided to make breakfast for lunch. His lunch told him the news as I had spelled out "pregnant" in pancake letters. He was thrilled!
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